My lowest point

So there I was, a thirty-something divorced mother of three, living in a state more than 2,000 miles away from my immediate family. What now? I was stuck. I moved out of the marital home and into a small apartment. The options left to me were minimal. The Ex and I had agreed to share custody of the kids. Our divorce was final in a matter of 4 months! He was able to obtain and attorney while I wasn't. Looking back, I would've handled things differently. We would've mediated everything. Right down to the very last dust bunny! ;) But hind sight is always 20/20.

So, anyway, I digress...2 months after I moved out and he filed for divorce, I lost my job. It was ROUGH! Extremely rough! Thankfully, even though we hadn't gone through the court system yet, he had already started to pay child support. It is literally what got me through for the next few months. Eventually, it wasn't enough.

I'm about to say something and I don't want any of you to take this the wrong way. It's my own personal demon that I had to battle within me and after going through it, I'm grateful that the system is there. Once I hit rock bottom and realized that I no longer had a job, nor was I successful at finding a job right away, believe me I tried, I had to consider other avenues. I considered surrogacy, selling my plasma, selling personal property, anything but what my mom suggested.....welfare. I know what you're thinking...what's wrong with welfare? I didn't want the stereotype attached to me because I had to get help for me and my kids. But fact of the matter is, I needed it! Desperately! So, I applied.

The amount of Child support that I was getting from the ex was too much to get any substantial support from the state for housing. The only thing that they were willing to provide was Food Stamps and insurance coverage for the kids. I took it. They needed to eat and God forbid anything happened to them medically. As it turned out, 7 months later, my daughter needed to have her tonsils taken out. Without that insurance, it would've cost a fortune. I thank God everyday that I had that coverage. It was my saving grace when I needed it.

I'm sure there are those people out there that are like I used to be. I used to think that people on welfare are just lazy and just use the system because they can; its easy. But take it from a mother who was at her lowest point and had nowhere to go; I needed help, the help was there, I'm grateful it was. If it weren't for my own mother urging me to use the system, I wouldn't have. I don't know what I would have done, but I do know that I wouldn't have applied for Welfare. I view the welfare system with different glasses nowadays.

With the help of a friend, child support and the state, the kids and I were able to survive for 10 long months during which I was unemployed. It was gruesome. I don't wish it on my worst enemy. I know there are people out there that battle those types of conditions everyday, especially in today's current economical conditions. To those individuals, I wish you the best. I hope that some day you find your saving grace and you are able to crawl out of the unfortunate hole you have found yourself in. To my Special Friend and team of Angels that helped me during my difficult situation, Thank you for everything. Your love and support meant so much and really helped me in more ways than you could possibly know. I love you all so much!