In the beginning....

I never thought that I would ever be divorced and fighting for the right to see my children. I never, for even a second, thought this would be how I was supposed to watch my children grow and see them, or not see them, go through the most difficult and most influential years of their childhood...but here I sit, alone.

In the beginning, I wasn't even planning on having a child right away. When it happened, I welcomed the opportunity. I was ready. I instantly wanted desperately to be a mother. There were those that supported me, and those that didn't. But in the end, I know deep down that I made the right decision.

My first born was brought into this world in 1996. I was 21, married, had a career, and I was now a Mom. Nothing could have prepared me for the road that lay ahead. The first two years of his life were fairly uneventful. The only downfall, was that I was a working Mom. I didn't get to spend the immense amount of time that I wanted to with my son. But he didn't suffer from it. He is a wonderful man, well....almost; he's only 14, let's not rush things.

In 1998, my husband and I brought a beautiful princess into this world. She was definitely her mother's daughter. She refused to let anyone else hold her but her mom. That's my girl. In mid 1998, we made a major move. We left behind everything we had known for the last 2 years and headed to my husband's hometown. It was unlike anything that I had ever seen. I had never before experienced a complete change of seasons and I was absolutely in love. I was 2,000 miles away from my family and I was OK.

I was living the life. I had a husband, who adored me, and worked his tail off so that I didn't have to. I was afforded the opportunity to stay home with my children. It was great. Though I missed the first 2 years of my son's life, I more than made up for them in the next 8 years.

In 1999, we welcomed another son into our family. What a difference between the two boys, in both personality and looks. Each of the kids are different in their own way, and I love them all the same. They are absolutely my pride, joy and reason for existing. Our youngest son added to our family in a way I never thought possible. He always seems to have a smile on his face.

For the next 8 years, I spent a lot of precious time with my children. I went on school field trips, went to all parent-teacher conferences, helped out in classrooms and with sporting events. Attended all practices and games. They were my life in every way.

Through the years, my relationship with my husband began to change. Little by little at first, and then drastically. Little did I know, that change would forever alter our lives.